Looking Out For You
by tubeatoothpaste
Summary: A new group of refugees comes to New Haven, but there is one girl that catches Merric's eye. The problems are that he is a noble, and she is a commoner, and there is definetly disaster ahead, between Merric and the gril and also with the Scanrans.
1. Default Chapter

Merric of Hollyrose strode purposefully down the wall of New Hope, watching over things. He was on the lookout duty while Kel was helping around camp. He was very surprised when he saw a lot of movement in the northwest.

"Kel!" he bellowed, running a large hand through his red curly hair. Sure enough, Keladry of Midelan bounded up the stairs in less than a moment.

"What is it?" she asked.

Merric wordlessly pointed to the northwest. Kel pulled out her spyglass and looked out. After a minute she smiled relieved, "Oh it's more refugees."

Merric smiled. He was glad it was not another attack. He leaned heavily on his elbows, gazing over the plain, watching the refugees hurry to New Hope. They progressed over slowly and Merric thought about how their coming would mean more food needed, more men and women to train, and more and more of his time. S

ometimes he considered leaving. At first, when he had been given this assignment, he definitely had. It wasn't taking orders from Kel that bothered him, it was that he was so close with these commoners. He had nothing against them exactly, but... there was something about how they watched him. Like they knew that he didn't like them as much as Kel did. It unsettled him.

He decided to show a different Merric to the newcomers, and prepared to follow Kel down to the entrance to the camp. No sooner had he relaxed then Kel shouted:

"Scanrans! Coming after the refugees!"

Merric bounced into action. He checked to make sure he had his sword and then, he waited shouted orders to the men and women of the camp. In a moment or less, his horse appeared, saddled and ready to go. He jumped on and they rode out to meet the Scanran's attack. As Kel, Merric and the men of New Haven hurried forwards, Merric heard a young female voice yelling orders to the refugees.

"Hurry now! Children and women get to the camp! Nothing is going to happen to you if you move!"

The source of these orders was a young girl, she couldn't have been more than sixteen. She was slender with dark brown hair in a braid. Her dress was brown homespun and she wore no shoes. There was dirt smudged on her face, and her green eyes glinted in the sun. The girl was wielding a sword.

"GO!" The girl screamed as some of the women hesitated. This group of refugees was all women and children, or extremely old or crippled men. Most of their men were off at war with Scanrans. The girl seemed to be the strongest one in the group.

Merric led his company to the Scanrans, his sword raised high.

"FIGHT, MEN!" he yelled as he charged on a Scanran. He rammed his sword into his body and turned to his next attacker. The battle was fought well, and most of the Scanrans were killed, and none of the men of the fort. They were used to such fights and had almost no trouble defending themselves and the retreating refugees.

Merric turned his horse around to see the girl fending off two mounted men from the ground. Merric urged his horse forwards and came at one from behind. The girl gave him a quick smile of gratitude before she blocked the other Scanran's double-sided axe blow. Merric was surprised as he saw her hold the blow off, her arm muscles bulging with the effort.

Finally, the fight was over and the remaining Scanran's retreated. Merric sent out a few men to scout the area for more of the enemy and then ordered everyone back to camp. Kel had already started after the refugees. Merric noticed the girl was wearily following on her feet and he drew rein on his horse to wait for her.

When she was right beside him he said. "Come now, ride with me back to the camp. That was a hard fight and we don't need you any more tired out than you are."

The girl grinned at him and, gripping her sword in one hand, have him her other. It was small but calloused and blistered. Merric pulled her up and placed her on the saddle in front of him.

"Be mindful you don't cut my horse with that sword." He said, acknowledging her unsheathed sword.

The girl looked back at him, "I won't sir."

Merric was surprised at the respect she treated him with, not many of the other refugees called him sir, though he was a noble. Having heard her say sir, it sort of placed him higher than her, and he found he didn't like it one bit.

"Please, call me Merric." He said.

She smiled, "All right, Merric. My name is Carrie." "Pleased to meet you, Carrie." Merric said. Neither said anything as they started to head for the camp. Merric reached around her slim waist to pick up the reins. In order to hold them correctly, both his arms were around her body and he had to lean forward so his head looked over her shoulder. It was rather awkward but both pretended not to notice it.

"I think you'll like New Haven," Merric said simply, "And you will love Kel. Everyone always does."

Carrie answered back, "I'm not always like everyone else."

Merric laughed, "No, you aren't. But I imagine you'll like Kel just the same.

Carrie said, "I imagine I will too."

Both Carrie and Merric were right. Kel and Carried got along wonderfully. Carrie was a lot like Kel had been at Carrie's age, but at the same time, completely different. She had fight in her, and spirit, but, unlike Kel, she had a huge temper. She didn't usually let it loose, especially not around children, but when refugees made trouble, she exploded. Carrie fit into the camp well. The refugees trusted her, and liked her, as did the nobles running the camp. She was found everywhere, on sentry duty, helping Neal in the healers tents, sometimes even helping Merric recruit men and women for training. Soon it seemed as if she had been there forever.

"Can I ask you a question?" Merric said quietly.

He and Carrie were on midnight guard duty, and Merric was sharpening his sword.

"Yeah," Carrie shrugged.

"Where'd you learn to fight so well?" Merric asked, looking up from his sharpening.

Carrie sighed. "Well, you know those lady knights that existed hundreds of years ago? I mean, way before Alanna and Kel?"

Merric nodded, still not really understanding.

"Someone in my ancestors was one," Carrie continued, "And so, in my family, everyone is trained in the sword. We were too poor to become knights, so each father and mother taught their children how to fight."

Merric sighed, "Wow. That's amazing."

Carrie sighed too, a heavier sigh. "I would have given anything to be a knight." She looked over at him, her eyes wistful. "I used to have dreams that some nice knight would come to our town and see me and say, "Oh, she needs to be a knight," and take me away from... my life."

Merric understood that. He had dreamed about being a knight ever since he was born. "Being a knight isn't all its cracked up to be," he told her.

Carrie turned to him sharply, her green eyes bright, "You get to make a difference. I mean, you count. You matter." she drew in a raggedy breath, "Not like some poor refugee girl."

Merric stood up and came to stand beside her. "Carrie. You matter too." Carrie looked up at him, as he was much taller, "Not to people like you." she muttered.

"What?" Merric asked, taking a step backwards.

"Look, you're a basically decent guy Merric, but I know that you don't like commoners." Carrie said quietly.

"WHAT?" Merric exploded, "That is not true."

"Oh yeah, sure." Carrie rolled her eyes, "I know you Merric. You pretend to like us, but really you still think you are better than us!"

"I can't help it!" Merric moaned, then realized he had said the wrong thing.

"You can't help it?" Carrie yelled, "Why? Because you honestly think you're better?"

"No!" Merric bellowed, getting frustrated, "I was raised that way!"

"People change!" Carrie screamed in his face, her eyes flashing angrily at him.

"I am changing! I- You know what, forget it!" Merric returned, throwing his hands up in defeat, "I can't even explain it to... to..."

"To what? A commoner?" Carrie challenged.

"Mithros Carrie! No!" Merric practically screamed.

"Then tell me," Carrie ordered, her arms crossed across her chest.

Merric calmed down, taking long deep breaths. "My family," he started to explain, leaning on the wall. "My family is very prim and proper. We do everything the right way, and we call on the right people and I was supposed to marry the right girl, and become the lord of the right fief and run it the right way. Which meant sitting on my ass all day and making love to my wife all night." Merric sighed.

"Sounds like you'd like it," Carrie muttered. That last remark had hurt something in her. The thought of Merric making love to someone... She shut her eyes to shut out the thought. Merric looked down at Carrie, and she could see he was truly hurt by that.

He groaned. "It wasn't what I wanted," he explained, looking her straight in the eye. "I wanted to matter, I wanted to make a difference too. I wanted to be a knight."

Carrie was really believing him, but she didn't want to. She didn't want to like Merric. This noble with his red hair and sparkling blue eyes and strong arms and deep voice... She stopped thinking and came back with the first remark she could.

"So daddy paid your way to be a knight."

Merric exploded at this. He grabbed Carrie's arm above the elbow and shook her, hard. He growled in her face, between his teeth,

"Carrie, you can attack my honor, my family and whatever else you want, but don't you ever, ever, say that I didn't earn my shield."

He let go of her and ran his hands through his hair, pacing. Carrie stared at him. So he really did care. He really wasn't just another noble. She stopped staring when he looked up and met her eyes.

"You're the same way," he said, realization dawning on him.

"What?" Carrie asked, confused.

"You hate nobles." Merric accused her, his face eager.

"No, that's not true," Carrie lied, but she could tell she wasn't convincing.

"Don't even talk to me," Merric said as he turned to walk away, "You're more prejudiced than I am."

He shook his head as if he was disappointed in her and slowly strode away.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Carrie glared at Merric as they both shoveled out the latrines. By some horrible phenomenon, they had ended up with the same duty for today. Carrie was taking a small rest when she looked over at him again. Except this time, she was surprised by what she saw.

Merric was talking to an old man who was so bent over that his chin nearly touched his knees.

"Now come on Joseph!" Merric laughed, helping the old man to walk away. "I'll finish your part of this job."

"But that's not right," Joseph protested, "I got assigned this, and I'm going to do it and-"

Merric interrupted, "Why don't you pick a different job that you can do permanently. Like carpentry, or cooking, or anything that won't stress your back," He suggested, taking the shovel out of Joseph's hands. "We need every person in this camp. You're no exception. We need you healthy."

"Thank you, Merric." Joseph said sincerely. "That was right kind of you." He stumbled off to the carpenter shed.

Carrie just stared, her mouth wide open. Merric had offered to clean out more than his share of the wastehe was shoveling. So Merric definitely wasn't just another noble. Carrie didn't like him though.

It wasn't fair that he was shoveling other human's waste, but he still looked so good. It was the end of summer, and his shirt was soaked with sweat at the neckline and it clung to his chest so the outlines of all his muscles were... Carrie stopped. She needed to focus. Wake up and smell the waste.

"Look, can we just call a truce?" Merric asked, cornering Carrie outside the dining hall.

Carrie sighed.

Merric continued, "We both said rude things, we both hate each other right now. Why don't we just agree to... start over, or something." He looked down at her hopefully.

"Fine," Carrie said, shaking his hand. "It's a deal."

"Good," Merric said with a grin, "I'm starving!" His stomach growled loudly, surprising him.

Carrie had to laugh before she followed him into the dining hall.

She ate quickly, as she had guard duty on the walls right after. With a small wave to some of the other refugees she sat with, she hurried outside.  
  
Carrie was staring out at the meadow, watching the sunset from the wall. She heard footsteps by her and turned. She found Merric.

"I needed air," he explained. "Everyone is sitting discussing matters of food and personal matters. I got a little restless."

Carrie smiled, understanding. She put her crossbow down and swung her legs over the edge of the wall, dangling her bare feet over.

"It will be turning colder soon," Merric said, "You should think about starting to wear your shoes."

Carrie smiled at him as if he didn't know anything, "Haven't got any shoes." She stuck her small feet out and wiggled her small toes. "Can't afford them."

"Well, I could give you shoes," Merric suggested, "Or you could take them from the clothes bins-"

Carrie interrupted, "I would not accept any shoes. I can't take the shoes from the bins because the children need them. I'm small so I still have children size feet."

Merric nodded, understanding, "I could buy you shoes," he said simply.

At first Carrie looked as if she would have loved to accept, but then she shook her head, "You are very kind, Sir Merric, but no, I cannot accept that."

Merric touched her shoulder, "Now don't go getting all formal on me! I'm just offering you shoes. God knows you'll need them, and the camp-and Kel and I- need you to have them! Put your foolish pride out of the way."

"I won't accept charity!" Carrie yelled, her green eyes flashing.

"Then work for it!" Merric yelled, frustrated. Why wouldn't Carrie just accept his gift? "If you won't just take them then do some work for me until you feel you have worked them off!"

In his head, Merric told himself that he wasn't just doing this to be around her more often. He couldn't deny the fact that he felt something for her. She was a confusing person, but in the same way she was intriguing.

"Fine!" Carrie yelled back, her temper flaring. She glared up at Merric, who was a good foot taller than her.

"GOOD!" Merric roared. "I'm HAPPY NOW!"

"GLAD TO PLEASE YOU!" Carrie screamed.

"What is going on here?" Kel demanded as she walked up.

Merric and Carrie glared at each other.

"Nothing, I have just asked Carrie to assist me in my personal livings." Merric explained, glaring at Carrie.

"YES! And we are extremely pleased!" Carrie answered back, returning the glare.

"So Carrie will be moving into the rooms adjoining your quarters?" Kel questioned, confused at why they were so angry.

"Yes," they both said at once, then glowered at each other because they had both said the same thing.

"Okay," Kel sighed. "Carrie go get your things I will take over your guard duty."

"Thank you!" Carrie said.

"Goodbye," Merric growled at her as she walked away.

"So, you hired Carrie?" Kel asked after a heavy silence, trying to lighten the mood. "Any reason why?"

"The blasted girl won't accept shoes from me!" Merric moaned, "What is she going to do? Run around in the snow until her toes freeze off! Oh that'd be great! Then she'd have to have her feet amputated and she'd be a cripple as well! She'd probably do it too, just to spite me. This is the northern border! You can't spend a winter shoeless!"

When he was done venting, Merric looked at Kel apologetically.

"Maybe she didn't want your pity," Kel suggested.

"Shoes are the same thing as pity." Merric murmered, "I'm just trying to help her out. She doesn't have enough, I have more than enough... I don't understand her."

"Merric," Kel explained, touching his arm, "She doesn't want you to make those kind of assumptions. She is friends with you," Kel paused. "Sort of, and when you give her things, you are putting yourself above her."

Merric sighed, "I never thought of that."

Kel nodded, "You better go help her get settled. And you might want to apologize for yelling."

Merric nodded too, "Thanks Kel."

"One of them is going to have to learn to control their tempers," she sighed as she turned back to guard duty.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Fifteen minutes later, Carrie carried her bag up to where Merric's rooms were. All her belongings fit in a small rucksack. She rapped on the door loudly and Merric flung it open.

Merric's rooms included a central living room and two bedrooms that broke away from them. Well, one used to be an empty room but now it was Carrie's bedroom. Carrie pushed past him into the room that was hers. She put her things away quickly and sat on the bed in a huff.

It wasn't that she didn't want to work for Merric, it was that he only took her on out of pity. That was the one emotion she couldn't stand to have from other people. Pity. She had felt pity before, and she didn't want it here, not from people like Merric and Kel. Soon everyone would know that Merric pitied her, she wouldn't have enough work to do and people would figure it out.

A soft knock came on the door. "Merric go away!" she yelled, forgetting that he was a noble and she only a commoner.

"It's Kel," a voice said.

Carrie sighed and moved over to let Kel come in and sit on the bed next to her. Kel had traded her guard duty with someone else to help out this oddly matched pair.

"Don't be upset," Kel said, quietly enough so that Merric wouldn't hear from the other room. Carrie didn't answer. "He knows how much of a help you will be to him," Kel said quietly. "He doesn't pity you, you know."

Carrie looked up, Kel had read her mind.

Kel continued, "He admires you, actually."

Carrie laughed at this, "Yeah, sure."

"Really," Kel protested, "He likes how everyone gets along with you."

"Well everyone gets along with you too," Carrie pointed out to Kel.

"Yeah, but I work at it. It just comes to you. And I'm a noble, naturally most nobles like me. You, though, you are a commoner that the nobles accept. I don't know why Carrie, but everyone just loves you to pieces."

Carrie burst out laughing, "To pieces?"

Kel punched her lightly, "Oh shut up! Anyway, Merric just wants to help you out." Kel stood up to leave and as she was closing the door, she added, "Besides, I think he may have a little bit of a crush on you." Kel grinned wickedly.

Carrie stared for a second then threw a pillow at Kel's head. "Kel! Don't even say that! You are mad!" Carrie protested.

Kel stuck out her tongue and walked into the other room. She saw Merric in there.

"You talked to her?" he asked anxiously, standing up.

"Yes, and I don't think she's mad anymore," Kel said with a smile as she walked out of the room.

Merric rapped on the door to Carrie's room.

"Carrie?" he asked gently.

"Yes Merric?" Carrie said sweetly, opening up the door.

"Are you still mad?" he asked.

"No, actually I'm grateful. Thanks." Merric was a bit surprised, "Well you're welcome. I do need you though, you know that?"

Carrie laughed, "Of course!"

Merric smiled, and they started going over what her duties would be. She would be a lot like Tobe was to Kel. She would clean his armor, clean the rooms, which were dusty, and basically do anything else that he needed her too. As well as keeping up with her normal camp duties. She sighed, it wasn't going to be easy. She had better get some real nice shoes.

Merric finished his list and said, "All right Carrie. You better get to bed. And I'm warning you already, I won't be awake when I'm supposed to be. Kel usually comes in and bangs on the door until I wake up. But maybe you could do it tomorrow?" Merric asked hopefully.

"Sure," Carrie smiled, "And I bet I'll get you up faster than Kel does."

Merric grinned, "All right. Good night."

He stood up and stretched his arms over his head and Carrie couldn't help it. She watched his thick muscles move under his tanned skin. When she realized she was watching _Merric_, her _master_, she hurried into her room without saying goodnight.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The next morning, Carrie awoke at dawn and got dressed in a hurry. She was excited about her new duties. Especially waking Merric up.

She took the water from her washbasin and tiptoed to his room. She cracked open his door and stopped. Merric lay in a heap of twisted sheets, in only his loincloth. His bare chest was moving slowly with his breathing, but Carrie could see each muscle outlined. She sighed. This was not how she was supposed to react when she saw Merric. Remembering her plan to wake him up, Carrie threw the ice-cold water onto his bed.

Merric's eyes flew open, and he saw a laughing Carrie standing in his doorway. He was drenched in freezing cold water. But he had to admit, it had woken him up and cooled him down all the same. But he was still not a morning person. He glared at Carrie.

Carrie laughed, "Good morning!" she chirped, too perky for him. "Strange weather isn't it?"

Merric growled some remark at her and closed the door to change.

Carrie laughed, and then went back to her room to make her bed, and to wait for Merric to go to breakfast.

Merric, she soon realized, was not a morning person.

"Did you get a good night sleep?" She asked him cheerfully.

"You are too perky." Merric groaned, "Why, oh why do I have to have a perky helper!"

Carrie grinned, "Because opposites work well together."

Merric laughed, but then added grumpily, "Not this early in the morning, they don't."

Merric and Carrie checked the duties list which was posted outside of the mess hall.

"Just my luck," Carrie groaned, "Plowing. Why don't I get an easy job like you? Patroling."

Merric was about to retort when he noticed she was smiling. She was teasing him.

"Well you're just not big enough to patrol." He teased back, "You have to be able to see over the horse's head."

Carrie laughed, "Ouch. That one hurt."

Merric laughed too, "I'm sure you'll get over it."

Carrie's back ached as she looked back at the line she had just plowed. She was pleased to notice that it was pretty straight, minus one major curve in the middle. She was just turning the oxen around to plow the next furrow when a loud horn call was heard in the distance. It blew three short blasts and Carrie groaned. Another attack.

She ran over to the side of the field and grabbed her sword from where she had concealed it in the bushes. She realized that no one in the fields was taking charge so she did.

"Everyone who is an archer, hide yourself and pick off as many of them as you can. Aim to kill." She bellowed. "Anyone else..." she paused, "Get ready to see some Scanran blood!"

The hard-faced men and women in the field with her grinned and got their weapons.

A group of Scanrans came out of the trees. The refugees launched their arrows, taking out a few of them. They came quickly, some on horseback, some not.

Carrie gritted her teeth and swung her sword up as a big blonde man rode towards her. She blocked his axe until she saw and opening and stabbed him in the chest. He went down. She turned around just in time to block the sword of another man on horseback. Carrie stabbed his leg to distract him, and then cut his belly open.

For a second, she thought she might throw up, but she quickly recovered and looked around. A foot solider came towards her. She quickly disarmed him, his sword lying in the dust. He fell to the ground and she put her sword at his throat.

"Please," he whispered, "Please don't kill me." His deep blue eyes pleaded with her and Carrie stopped. "I have a wife and six daughters, they need me," he moaned.

Carrie faltered and stepped back. "You can go." she whispered, shocked at the coward in her. "Go. Hurry!"

He struggled to his feet and started to run away.

Carrie turned her back to him, she couldn't watch him. That was her failure. She had been such a girl. She should have cut his throat. Suddenly, she heard footsteps, she turned to see those same blue eyes that were filled with sorrow filled with hate, and mocking. She tried to react, but the sword was level with her throat. Carrie knew she was going to die. But then, the sound of metal and the sword shifted, piercing her shoulder, deep into her shoulder, not in the throat.

Carrie saw a mop of red hair before she fainted to the ground.

"I hate Scanrans," Merric growled as he paced outside the infirmary.

Kel nodded. "Don't we all?"

Merric smiled a little. "Mithros, Kel," he whispered, "That was the scariest thing I've ever seen today."

Kel looked up, "What was? The attack?"

"No," Merric shook his head, "Seeing Carrie, about to die, ready to die." He ran a hand through his hair. "It was like she didn't care about her life."

"Well thank heaven you were there to save her," Kel whispered. "Now, I have to go do the dirty work of burying the Scanrans." Kel got up to leave, and Merric stood up to follow, but she put a hand on his arm. "You can stay."

Merric nodded in thanks and sat down. The truth was, he had been more scared today than he ever had in his entire life. When he saw that man charging at Carrie...His heart had given this huge wrench. He had never felt like that before. It was worse than when he saw someone aiming for a close friend. He shuddered. He didn't ever want to feel like that again.

"Merric?" a deep voice said. Merric stood up and saw Neal poking his head out of the tent. "She's awake, and she wants to talk to you."

Merric gulped and followed him into the infirmary. There were a lot of Tortallan injuries, not that many fatalities though, to his relief. He smiled at the people he knew, but weakly. Carrie was in the last bed.

"How are you?" Merric asked immediately.

Carrie frowned, "Alive."

"Well that's good," Merric chuckled awkwardly.

"Not really," Carrie whispered, a little too loud.

"What?" Merric asked, in shock. "You can't be serious. Of course that's a good thing!"

"I'm just tired of you always looking out for me." Carrie said evenly, staring him in the eye.

"Of course I look out for you Carrie. You're..." Merric trailed off, blushing a little.

Carrie didn't see the blush. "Because I'm your servant?" she asked meanly.

"No," Merric replied, just as meanly. "Because you're my friend I guess. I mean, I don't know you that well Carrie, and I sure as hell can't understand you, but I do care about you." He stared deep into her eyes. "You know that right?"

It was Carrie's turn to blush. She looked down, then looked up with tears in her eyes, "Thank you." she whispered, "I didn't deserve it, but thank you."

Merric was appalled, "Of course you deserve it!" he argued. "Explain yourself."

And with that, Carrie told him about the Scanran and how she had let him go and he had turned on her.

"An' now everyone will say it's because I'm a girl an' I can't fight...." she said through her tears, sounding like a small child.

Merric gave her a tight, but gentle hug, careful of her bandaged shoulder. "That's not true." he whispered into her hair, "I'm the only one besides you that knows, and I swear I won't tell."

Carrie sighed. In relief and gratitude, and also because Merric was holding her in his arms. She felt safe. She felt like everything was going to be okay, and she believed every word that came out of his strong mouth. Carrie's cheek was pressed against his chest, and she could hear his heartbeat. She closed her eyes to savor the moment. Eventually, Merric let go and stood up.

"Get rest," he told her, eyes twinkling, "And don't worry about me."

Carrie smiled, "Don't worry about me either."

Merric laughed at that, "Now that I can't do. I'll come back later."

Carrie watched him go, a sinking feeling in her heart. This was too much. What had her mother always told her? _Don't even look at nobles. Especially not the men. They'll use you. And never, ever, get involved with your master. _

Her mother spoke from experience. Carrie was the bastard child of her mother and some noble. But he had refused to acknowledge her. Carrie shoved those thoughts away. That was the past, this was her new life. None of these refugees knew her then. She had left her town as soon as she was old enough to get away from the pity she saw on everyone's faces.

"Carrie," Neal said quietly, "You needs some rest. It will help the healing."

Carrie nodded and closed her eyes. As hard as she tried not to think about Merric, the more he filler her mind. _Oh Goddess_, she thought, _What a disaster._

thats all for now... please tell me what you think!


	5. A Dance and A Raindrop

_Merric was lying on the grass outside of camp, taking a much-needed break from his hard morning. Then he heard the three short blasts. Another attack. He ran back to the fort and got onto his horse, which someone had saddled up and went out to meet the Scanrans. Except, when he got to the farming fields, they were gone._

_The refugees working out there looked downcast, and none would meet his eye._

"_What happened?" he demanded._

_No one said anything._

"_Tell me!" Merric roared. He searched for Carrie, he knew she had plowing duty today._

"_There were about twenty five of them," a man finally spoke up. "They came, and they had to fight a little, but eventually they got what they wanted and left."_

_Merric didn't understand. He looked around again. Where the hell was Carrie?_

_A kind faced woman stepped forward, looking sad. "They took her, sir." a tear fell from her eye. "They took Carrie. And they're only going to use her for one thing. That poor girl."_

Merric sat up in bed, sweat soaked and shaking. _It was just a dream._ He thought, _It was just a dream._ But the images had been so real. He smelled the grass, felt the wind on his face, heard the horn blasts. But he had to be sure. He got up and dressed, rushing down to the infirmary. Neal was dozing on a cot and Merric hurried past him.

To his relief, Carrie was in her bed, the sheets knotted around her. Merric sighed. He leaned over and pushed a little hair off of her forehead. Then, hesitantly, he kissed her forehead and sat in a chair by the bed.

By morning, Merric has decided there was nothing he could do about his dream. He couldn't exactly tell Carrie not to plow anymore because he had a dream something bad happened. But he was still shaken by how real the dream had felt. He shook it off and washed his face in a bucket of cool water in the infirmary.

"Merric?"

He turned when he heard her soft voice.

"What are you doing here?" Carrie asked. She had just woken up, and the sleep in her eyes made her look so much younger, and more innocent. Merric smiled.

"I came to check on you," he told her.

Carrie smiled, "Didn't I tell you not to worry about me?"

Merric nodded. "Yes. But I don't listen. Besides, you're too much trouble and you don't worry about yourself. Someone has got to do it."

Carrie smiled. "I'm feeling better. Neal says I can leave after he does one more small healing and then in two weeks I can use my shoulder again."

Merric smiled again, "That's fantastic! Look, I'll go get you some breakfast, all right?"

Carrie grinned, "Thanks."

She watched him leave, the smile still on her face. Goddess he was handsome. Carrie very slowly remembered the dream she had the night before and she blushed a little. She had dreamt that Merric came and visited her in the night, and kissed her forehead. It had felt so real. She reached up and touched her forehead, as if she could still detect the warmth of his lips. Of course she couldn't. It had been a dream. A good dream, but only a dream.

Over the next few days, Merric checked on Carrie constantly, filling her in on camp gossip, and telling her also about the politics around the area. Carrie would listen very interestedly, but her attention sometimes wandered. Especially on days when Merric came in after we worked. He would still be sweaty, and he sort of...glistened. His shirt would be unbuttoned at the top for ventilation and she could sometimes see a few chest hairs.

Carrie knew she shouldn't have these feelings for Merric, but she couldn't help it. She was attracted to him. There was no denying it. She was finally let out of the infirmary and Merric, Kel, and Neal had a sort of celebration in Merric's rooms that evening.

In the middle of their celebration, there was a loud blast on the guard's horns, signaling that someone was approaching. Then, two more sounded, assuring them that it was friends. Interested, all four of them left to go to the walls. When the visitors were finally in view, Kel and Neal both gasped.

"What?" Carrie asked. As far as she could tell, it was a few women and a company of the King's Own. Kel and Neal hurtled down the stairs.

"It's Neal's wife, Yuki. And Dom, with the King's Own." Merric explained to her.

"Who's Dom?"

"Kel is practically in love with him, and he with her, but neither will admit it," Merric enlightened her.

"Well why not?" Carrie asked, incredulous, "If they love each other, that's enough?"

Merric leaned against the wall, "It should be. But Dom isn't allowed to marry and Kel is a female knight..." he trailed off.

"Well who says they have to get married?" Carrie asked, then covered her mouth. "Okay, that sounded bad."

Merric laughed heartily, "Oh I'm sure if you said that more often you'd be very popular with the young men here."

Carrie blushed scarlet, "I didn't mean that-"

Merric cut her off, "I know. Come on, let's go see them, shall we?"

When they got down to the gate, Neal was hugging Yuki tightly and kissing her, right there in front of everyone, but no one minded. Most of the men there knew all too well how it felt to be reunited with a sweetheart.

Kel and Dom were hugging tightly, and for a long time. Merric elbowed Carrie and pointed, "I told you," he whispered, bending down so only she would hear.

"Is that her?" Dom asked, in Kel's ear.

"Yes," Kel whispered back, "Merric is basically in love with her and won't realize it."

Dom laughed and pulled away, "Now that," he commented, looking deep in Kel's eyes, "Is just crazy."

Kel blushed. Was Dom trying to tell her something?

In the dinning hall that night, they were having an even larger celebration. Kel, Dom, Yuki, Neal and Merric seemed to be enjoying themselves, but Carrie and Tobe looked bored out of their minds.

Merric came and sat at their table, "What's going on with you two? Why aren't you happy?"

Tobe groaned, "This isn't a party."

Dom overheard and joined in on the conversation, "It's not?"

"No!" Carrie agreed, "Haven't you notice that all the refugees left?"

Dom and Merric looked around, "Well now that you mention it..."

"We'll show you the real party!" Tobe said. He and Carrie stood up and led the others out of the dining hall back to the refugee barracks. In the large open square, some men were playing their instruments while the young men and women danced. It was a much louder, much more interesting party than the one inside.

For a while, the newcomers just stood there until one rather busty young woman strutted up.

"Dance with me?" she said, grabbing Merric's hands and pulling him onto the dance floor. Carrie's eyes narrowed in jealousy.

"I see it," Dom whispered in Kel's ear. He motioned towards Carrie, staring vehemently at Merric and the girl.

"I have a plan," Kel whispered.

Carrie was surprised when Dom was standing in front of her. "Dance?" he offered.

"No thanks." Carrie said. "Shouldn't you be dancing with Kel?"

Dom shrugged, "She's dancing with another man from the Own."

Carrie looked at him, then nodded. "Okay."

Dom winked at Kel and pulled Carrie into the group.

Kel danced her way over to Merric and the girl and cut in. The girl with Merric looked very angry, until the man from the Own swept her up in his arms.

Merric looked at Kel confusedly. "Shouldn't you be with Dom?" he asked.

"Why, yes!" Kel said, faking surprise, "I guess I should!"

She pulled Merric over to where Dom and Carrie were and cut in, leaving Carrie and Merric dancing together,

Merric wrapped one arm around Carrie's small waist and took her hand in his other. The music quickened and they spun around quickly.

Carrie breathed in deeply, and she could smell the smell of Merric. She was glad his arm was around her waist because she felt like she would fall over at any time. She barely came up to his shoulder, so she couldn't even see anything but Merric.

"I'm not very, um, good at this," Merric apologized as he stumbled over one of Carrie's feet.

Carrie grinned, trying to tease him, "No, you're not."

This lightened the mood, took away some of the awkwardness and Merric laughed.

"Well you're not exactly the best either," He returned.

"Oh yeah?" Carrie taunted, and she started to lead, with Merric fumbling to follow her movements.

"I'm the guy, I get to lead," Merric reminded her, right in her ear. Carrie felt shivers race down her back. "Are you cold?" Merric asked.

Carrie just shook her head, looking down at her feet.

"Carrie? Are you okay?" Merric asked as he stopped moving. He put his fingers under her chin, and made her look up at him. With a half-smile, he leaned his face down towards her and...

PLOP! A raindrop hit Carrie in the face. She shook her head to get the water out of her eyes, leaning back in the process. When she wiped away the raindrop, and the next one that fell, Merric was no longer close to her, and he looked disappointed.

He reached out and touched her arm, "Carrie..." he started to say.

"No," Carrie whispered, shaking her head. "Merric, I need to go." Carrie wasn't sure what he was going to say after he said her name, but she knew that she had gone too far. He was a noble. Carrie turned on her heel and ran.

Merric stared after Carrie as she ran away from him. Well, he thought, there's a sign. So Carrie did not feel the same way about him. But he had been so sure when he was holding her... She was practically trembling... he sighed. What a night. Running his hand through his hair, Merric trudged off to his bed.


	6. Chapter 6

Merric tossed and turned all night long until it was light and he decided to get dressed and go down to the mess hall for breakfast. On his way down to the mess hall, he checked the list of duties, and before he could stop himself, he searched out where Carrie would be working. Plowing. That meant she had probably already awakened and was out in the fields.

Merric ate his breakfast, but the food tasted like sawdust in his mouth. He was so miserable about how things happened with Carrie, he couldn't focus. It also didn't help that he was so exhausted he was forced to hold his head up to stay awake. Before going on watch, he stopped and splashed some cold water from the well on his face to wake him up a bit more.

His watch passed uneventfully, which angered him even more. He could have used a nice distraction like chasing down dirty Scanrans to get his mind of Carrie.

"Get it together…" Merric muttered to himself.

"Talking to yourself?"

Merric turned around and saw Kel approaching, smiling at him.

"Yeah," he moaned, "I did not have a good night sleep."

"Well, why don't you take a break, maybe a nap?" Kel suggested and when he tried to protest, she cut him off and continued. "You're no good to me if you're going to fall asleep. I'll take over."

Merric thanked her and trudged down and outside of the walls onto a patch of grass. He could nap here, in full view of the soldiers, and not be in danger because they would blow the horn to wake him. Slowly, Merric drifted into sleep.

He awoke when he heard three short blasts on a horn. An attack. He ran inside the walls and gratefully accepted his already saddled horse from a child who must have done it for him. Merric hopped on and led the men out of the fort. They saw some action by the fields and hurried their horses over, but by the time they got there, all the Scanrans were gone.

"That's puzzling," Merric thought. Even more puzzling was that he felt like he had seen all this happen… Like it had been in… in a dream. Then he remembered. In his nightmare a few weeks ago, the Scanrans had taken Carrie. He sucked in a ragged breath and leapt off his horse. He ran to the nearest refugee.

"Where is she?" he demanded.

No one would meet his eye.

"I said, Where is she?" Merric yelled again, his chest heaving as he realized his nightmare had come true. They had taken Carrie. And just like in his dream, a man spoke up.

"There were about twenty of them," he explained. "They came, and they had to fight a little, but eventually they got what they wanted and left."

"They took Carrie." Merric said, completely devoid of emotion.

A woman put a hand on his arm, "Yes dear, and they only want her for one thing." She sighed as a tear slipped down her face, "That poor girl."

Merric couldn't think straight. They took her. Those goddamn Scanrans captured Carrie and they thought they could just whore her! No, he wouldn't stand for it.

"I'm going after her." Merric said flatly. "Which way did they go?"

None of the farmers answered.

"Where the hell did they go?" He roared, and he saw the women shaking their heads in pity at him.

"You can't go after her Merric." A voice said. Merric turned to see who challenged him. It was Kel. He glared at her.

"You can't Merric. It's against the King's orders."

"We did it before!" Merric reminded her, "To save them." He waved his arm, indicating the refugees around him.

"I know," Kel whispered, "But that was so many more people. I care about Carrie too but…"

"Not like I do," Merric interrupted. The men and women nearby gasped. So there had been something between Merric and Carrie?

"Merric, you'll put your life, your knighthood…everything that is yours in danger." Kel warned him. She wasn't so much forbidding him to go, as reminding him of the dangers.

"I know." Merric said, "But I'd rather die trying to save her, than have her go through that."

Kel nodded, "Come back into camp."

Merric and Kel didn't discuss his plan anymore, and Kel even announced to the entire camp that no one was to stage a rescue for Carrie, but when Merric was getting ready to depart in the middle of the night, he found a package of food in the hallway and Kel and Neal standing behind it.

"Be careful," Kel told him as she gave him a hug, "I'm sorry I can't give you any men… but we can't spare them."

Merric nodded, "I know. Besides, I need stealth."

Neal stepped forward and gave him some sort of balm, "This will help Carrie when you get to her."

Merric took heart in the fact that Neal said, 'when' and not 'if'.

"Thank you," he smiled weakly, "Both of you. I'll be back in a few days." Merric shouldered his pack and walked down the corridor.

"He's crazy," Neal commented with a sigh.

"No," Kel corrected with a small smile, "He's in love."

Merric snuck down to the stables to saddle his horse, and found it had been done for him. He looked around to see who it could have been, when he saw a teenage girl and a small child. The teenager stepped forward.

"Sir Merric," she said solemnly, "Bring Carrie back."

Merric nodded, "I intend to. Did you saddle my horse?"

The teenager nodded, " I wanted to help. Carrie is like a sister to me. We stick together when the Scanrans come. I should've been with her this time."

Merric stooped down and put a hand on her shoulder, "There was nothing you could do. I've been kicking myself for the same thing. I think I should have been there with her."

The young child spoke up, "When is Carrie coming home?"

Merric sighed, "Soon," he promised as he mounted his horse. "Good-bye." He waved as he rode out the part that Daine and Numair had magicked as a secret passage way. He probably could have used the gates, he didn't doubt that the solider wouldn't open them, but this way was better.

Merric rode for a long time in the direction he thought the Scanran's had gone. When it began to become daylight, he his himself and his horse in the woods, and waited. He hated to waste the time, but if he was going to sneak up on these men, he needed to do it at night. He settled down, intending to have a light nap.

Merric slept for less than an hour and then sat upright violently. He had been having nightmares, images, and vivid visions of the men raping Carrie. He shuddered with the very thought of her in pain. He looked at the sun and cursed when it wasn't even noon yet. He had to wait until dark to start his attack.

For the rest of the afternoon, Merric trailed the Scanrans. It wasn't hard, they did nothing to cover their tracks. Finally, he hard voices and horses in the distance and knew he was close. He slid off his horse and crouched to wait until dusk.


	7. Chapter 7

Merric watched keenly as the sentries and lookouts changed shifts. This not only told him the whereabouts of the sentries, but showed him the condition of the men. The men looked tired, which was ot his advantage. But to Merric's dismay, they looked pleased with themselves- as if they had just had their way with a woman. They looked similar to a stallion that has just bred with a mare. Anger boiled up inside him and it was all Merric could stand not to attack them all at once. He had to have strategy- had to think like Kel. He pushed away all thoughts of Carrie's suffering.

His plan was to pick off the sentries and then go after those in the camp. It wouldn't be hard- just painstaking. Merric had never killed twenty men in one day- but he intended to now. These were not men- they were monsters. Merric crept closer to the nearest sentries and overheard them talking.

"She's a weird girl, eh?" The one on the right asked, "Never said anything. Didn't utter a sound."

The one on the left laughed, "Ha! I like 'em better that way! No yellin' in pain and all that. Much easier with this one. I believe Jonas was her first time. That explains the blood on the table."

"Is that so?" The first one said carelessly, "We bagged us a virgin?"

"She bit me that nasty bitch!" One said, "I bled too!"

Merric could take no more- his heart ripped to pieces and he slashed one through the neck and the other through the stomach in two quick motions. He glared at them for a second only and then hurried on to the next set of sentries. He picked them off too, and the other set. That left only 14 men in the camp. Still too many. As painstaking as it was, Merric hid the bodies and would have to wait until the next shift of sentries came out.

As he waited, he thought about what those men had said. She hadn't made a sound. Beautiful Carrie could be strong- even in a moment like this. Even feisty- as she had bit that man. The poor girl- loosing her virginity to these men. He cringed at the thought of her in pain and waited for his chance to spill more blood on her behalf. But his chance didn't come. A stray Scanran taking a leak had found the bodies and the Scanrans were packing up and moving. Merric cursed his carlessness when he hid the bodies, and trailed behind them. To his great distress, they traveled not for a few hours, but all night and until at least noon the next day. He was far from the border now, and he was desperate to find Carrie.

That night, the sentries came out again, this time in threes. Merric knew he could not take three men at a time and so had to be more clever. He hid in a tall tree and threw a rock far in the other direction. Sure enough, one sentry went to investigate the noise. Merric loosed an arrow that killed him and had two more in the other's throats before they realized what had happened. His vengeance had strengthened his skills. In the same manner, he took off the other two sets of sentries, leaving only 9 men in the camp.

Merric knew he had to act now. He crept into the camp where he had expected everyone would be sleeping. Instead, he saw a sight that would be burned in his eyes and heart forever. Carrie was chained to a tree, her arms behind her. Her dress was pushed up over her knees and a man was forcing himself on her at that very moment. Eight other men watched and grunted or cheered.

Carrie's face was devoid of emotion. She looked like stone- not even a person anymore. She was covered in dirt and blood and her hair tangled around her face and hollow eyes.

Merric didn't care about caution or his life anymore. He just knew he had to save Carrie. With a violent yell, Merric charged. The man nearest him turned, just to be slashed in the face. Merric turned to the man next to him and cut deep into his leg. By then, another man had grabbed Merric's shirt. Merric ripped away, loosing half his shirt in the process and stumbling into the arms of another blond man. Merric kneed him in the groin and then slit his neck.

Merric fought the remaining men with a fire he had never felt before. He wanted to kill them- see them suffer. While this new feeling terrified him- he did not question it as it helped him. To his disgust, Merric realized one man was still using Carrie. Merric charged on him and stabbed him right in the back. He crouched down to Carrie and reached out to touch her gently when he felt great pain in his back- a slash. Merric turned around and his sword pierced the man's torso, he went down.

Only three men remained and Merric fought them all to their deaths. Finally- exhausted and crazy- he turned his attention to Carrie. He sank to the ground below her and broke the chains. He wiped the hair out of her face- waiting for recognition in her face- but she still stared blankly.

"Carrie…" he whispered, cradling her small body. She felt like a rag doll in his arms- limp. She didn't answer, or even acknowledge his existence. Merric felt a lump well up in his throat. He had traveled all this way to save her- but she didn't even recognize him.

"Carrie!" he said again, shaking her.

No reaction. She just blinked at him.

Merric stumbled to his feet, holding her against him and staggered to his horse. He put her up in the saddle in front of him, and had the decency to close the top of her dress that had been ripped open. Although she leaned heavily against him- it was not with trust or longing- just with no feelings at all. Merric's heart felt like it was being torn apart by wild dogs.

They had destroyed his Carrie. Destroyed her.

The journey back was terrible Merric only stopped to bandage himself and feed himself- and Carrie. Merric sunk deeper and deeper into depression he could not explain. It was as if Carrie's soul had been taken. She had no feelings, no personality. She was simply a body. Merric wanted to kill those men all over again for what they had done. Carrie- who used to talk and laugh and tease and yell -now sat staring at nothing all the time.

Merric traced his trail back to where he had come, and within two days he was in view of camp. As he approached, the horns were blown. He rode in by where the farmers were plowing. They looked up at him in amazement as he rode quietly by. Some opened their mouths to ask questions, but the look on Merric's face stopped them. For while Carrie looked like a living corpse, Merric was beginning to look just like her. His eyes grayed, his expression dropped to nothing.

Kel ran out to meet them, tears of joy in her eyes and she took both of them to Merric's chambers. Baths were drawn for both and Merric took his and went to bed without saying one word to anyone. He didn't know it, but Carrie did the same.

The next few days were a blur. Merric was in the infirmary for his wound and exhaustion. He slept and ate- and had nightmares constantly. A few beds down, Carrie experienced worse nightmares, writhing and rolling as if in pain. Her mouth was open in a silent scream- but she never made a sound. Even Neil didn't know what to make of it. He treated her injuries with magic and physically she was healthy- but mentally she was not. Neil asked Kel to talk to her- to see if Carrie might confide in her.

"Carrie," Kel said quietly. She and Carrie were in a private room, but Carrie wouldn't even focus her eyes on her. They looked glazed over.

Kel reached for her hand but Carrie shrunk back. After she had been rescued. Carrie had shied away from everyone's touch.

"Carrie tell me what happened. You can trust me- you know you can!" Kel whispered.

Carrie stared at the wall- no emotions on her face.

Kel got frustrated- which didn't happen often. She spent everyday for a week trying to coax anything out of Carrie. It was unhealthy- and scared the other refugees, especially the children Carrie had been close with. Kel had all but given up by one Saturday and stormed out of the room. By that time, it had been suggested that Carrie be moved back into her room by Merric's as that was where she had been most comfortable and would maybe benefit her.

That night, Merric had sentry duty and didn't come into his room until late- at least two in the morning. As he undressed down to his breeches, he heard an odd noise. He followed it until he came to Carrie's door. It was a rustling of sheets- probably caused by Carrie's frequent nightmares.

Knowing very well how improper it was, Merric stepped into the room. He knew he shouldn't touch her, and he wouldn't have if he hadn't noticed two things. Silent tears streamed down her face and her lips mouthed a word. Merric watched them mesmerized when he realized what she was silently saying.

"Merric, Merric, Merric" over and over and over.

Merric sat down on the bed and reached his arms out to her. He put both around her in a light embrace and braced himself for the spasm he expected from her. Instead, she relaxed and he looked up at her.

Her eyes were open now and she stared at him, although not blankly. She recognized him, he could see that.

"Carrie…" he whispered, tracing one finger down her jaw.

"Oh Merric," she whimpered and flung herself against him. Tears erupted out of her and she sobbed, clinging to him, wetting his chest with her tears. Merric wrapped his arms around her, pressing her against him, stroking her hair.

His heart was almost bursting. She knew him, she needed him. As he held her, he didn't ever want to let her go, never wanted to let her be susceptible to hurt again.

"It was horrible," Carrie whispered into his chest, "They were dirty…harsh…rough…oh it hurt so much." She cringed against him, squeezing him as hard as she could.

Merric returned the fierce hug. "I know," he soothed her, rocking back and forth, "But you're safe now, you are safe with me."

Carrie snuggled up against his neck, breathing in his scent. She did feel safe, content- maybe even a little happy. "I know," she breathed, "I know. Don't leave me. Not tonight…not ever."

Merric rubbed her back as she fell asleep against him. When her breathing slowed, Merric tried to get out of her grasp- so at least they wouldn't be found like this in the morning. Carrie's hand tightened so strongly on his and she whimpered a little. Merric didn't have the heart to leave her. Gently as possible, he shifted his weight so he could lie down. He had loosened his hold on Carrie so it wasn't so scandalous lying next to her, but the second she was in deep sleep again, she cuddled up close to him, her face close to his.

Merric knew only married couples and lovers could be like this and have it be proper, but he wouldn't leave this moment for anything. He pushed a strand of hair out of her face and kissed her forehead lightly. In response, she snuggled in closer to him and Merric wrapped his arms around her again. He watched her sleep until he began to yawn and drift off too.


End file.
